Others-Validation vs. Self-Validation

Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash

“Others-Validation” means you derive your sense of value based on the perceptions and opinions of others.

Examples:

• I must be “good enough” if everyone likes me at work
• I must be “right” if everyone in my social media circle agrees with me
• I must be “smart” if my employer promotes me

While the approval of others feels good, it’s an unstable foundation to build our sense of self.

Have issues at work? Get in an argument with a friend? Miss a promotion? All of a sudden, we can start questioning ourselves and fall into depression.

Enter Self-Validation

“Self-Validation” means you derive your sense of self based on your own integrity and values. i.e. while humbly acknowledging your own imperfections, you know you’re doing your best, and living true to yourself.

Then, even if the world disagrees with you, you are emotionally stable as you are centered in your own integrity. You are living a life congruent with your ideals.